As Far As The East Is From The West

A few Sundays ago, I prayed for a woman at church. She was suffering from sever anxiety attacks on a daily basis and it was crippling her. I remember that moment of prayer so fervently and how strong the presence of God was. In all honesty, when my pastor asked the hands of those in need to be raised, mine was one of them. But as I turned around, the pastor's wife waved me over and led me to pray for her. This woman was hopeless and desperate for a deep move of God and I knew her brokenness well. See, at times it becomes so difficult I convince myself it would be simpler for him, less of a heartbreak, if I gave up. Sometimes the fight left in us is small and brittle and the truth is, Satan steals, kills and destroys until there is nothing left but a sliver of faith. And like the rising sun, comes the words of Christ,
"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20) Thank you Jesus. And in moments of habitual sin and failure, chains that have years of familiarity and oppression comes the words of Christ again, breaking through the darkness with power and justice:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's… For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.”

(Psalms 103: 2-5; 11-13)

Just like that, our eyes are locked once again with the maker and creator and lover of our souls. The one that heals our brokenness redeems our failures and brings us to life. He is the firm foundation on which we build our homes, now being able to withstand throughout the storms.

This Sunday I looked for the woman, and when I found her I was met with a beaming, radiant joy. “I’ve been looking for you each Sunday,” she eagerly told me and it was then that I heard the news. After daily attacks for years on end, she had not one attack since our prayer. We cried together, knowing that there were no words to express how deeply we loved him and how grateful we were for his power.  See, waking up that day, I was stuck down and defeated in many ways, but in that moment everything made sense. Even in my failure, Jesus uses me as a vessel to bring his freedom because it never has been, nor will it ever be, about me. This is the greatest truth and the deepest joy of my life. When knowing who I am without him cannot compare to the truth of who I am in him. My failures cannot compare to his greatness. For in my darkest moments, his light shines from within and I can watch as it transforms me; I watch as it transforms others.

I am in love and I am unfaithful, but instead of letting me wander, he pursues me and speaks tenderly for me to return to his embrace.

 Father, have your way in our lives. Help our longings for you to be met with obedience to your law. Help those around us to see you beautifully shine from within, regardless of our pain or strife. In you and you alone we will bring freedom and love and hope to a world in need of your love. We hold on to your word and your truth in times of attack and oppression.

We partner with you Father. Cleanse us by your blood and please lead us to your cross as we accept your grace. We long for you.

Amen

Mani the Nanny

Recently, I was unexpectedly offered a job as a live in nanny in Philly. Before this semester began, I was looking for ways to support myself after graduation. The thought of paying rent, car insurance, costs for food and monthly loan payments was overwhelming to say the least, and I did not have the option of moving back home with my mom. A week before the beginning of the semester, a man from my church in Philly asked if anyone knew of someone looking for a job as a nanny. Instantly, I messaged him and the next thing I knew, I was staying for a three day trial. The trial was unbelievably perfect. It was so easy to be around them and I felt so comfortable. Nothing was forced at all, which was very unexpected. The greatest contributing factor would have to be Gavin (the baby). Instantly, we clicked. He is such a gem, I'm telling you. To be honest, I moved in that next week and began work before the start of the semester. I took some major steps of faith and really trusted that God would work everything out if it was his will. It wasn't easy at first, but trusting became my only option. About a week after the semester began I was officially accepted as an online student and moved all of my things out my dorm room and into my new home. Caring for a three month old baby has been extremely difficult, but I can't hep but be grateful for the chance to get to grow with him. I can't help but be amazed at what God has done and how he has blessed me. This time last semester I was working two jobs, being a full tim student and barely making ends meet. I don't think there was ever a time I struggled more financially. Since moving to Philly I have been able to grow closer to my church, take better care of my health and save for my trip this summer. Thank you Jesus. This is only a glimmer of all that God has done in my life. Stay tuned for more.